I can remember believing that my home town was the oddest spot on earth. Everything seemed to be breathing its last breath. The stores were old and tired, the town pool seemed to become more and more shallow, the faces too familiar and the places too predictable. My friends had grown and swapped their desire for a pick-up basketball game for pick-up trucks and girlfriends. Other friends exchanged scraped knees at the baseball diamond for bent-knee proposals and diamond rings at the altar. Friends were starting their lives, choosing partners and sharing moments. Greg started dating Judy. Becky was interested in Bobby. Janice was dating Bruce.
Although I understood their motivation, mine was a different force. All I could feel was a breeze at my back and the tug of adventure. It was gentle at first but soon the northern blasts of Maine raced around corners, screamed my name and pushed me south. I set my sails and drifted with the winds. I believed that if I didn't test the gales, I would live a life wondering of how it might have been. I'd face a life of floundering and disappointment. I feared I would never experience the world beyond the edges of the town limits. I wanted to get OUT of town im-med-ia-tely. I wanted to hit the road, kick up some dust, see new horizons and leave it all behind me.
The wind blew hard and long. Years later, I would hear Art Garfunkel's song: "My Little Town". I was amazed at the song's hook: "There's nothing but the dead and dieing in my little town". It seemed so appropriate.
I am older now and although I have never regretted the journey, I do have a few seaworthy experiences. Although I cherish each of them, there are some that I do deeply regret. Life's winds bring an abundance of opposites: rough seas and its reverse, calm oceans. There are screaming hurricanes and its opposite, silent, clear, moonlit nights. There are lost loves and to replace the loss, new loves. Sometimes we are ready and sometimes we are not. Oddly, it's the 'stormy days' and the 'lost loves' that often teach us the most poignant lessons. Maybe it's because the trauma makes them more memorable. I believe THAT is a lesson in itself: Emphasize the great times so the bad times won't have much of a foothold. Life's winds will always blow. Much to our surprise, we are often afforded second chances. Our job is to be reasonably ready when it becomes our turn.
I wish that I had returned more often to my odd little town. I wish that I had found some of my successes a bit earlier and closer to home. Perhaps, I could have helped my family develop a stronger family bond. One thing I have learned about leaving is the importance of returning. Building and keeping that connection to a 'home base' is healthy to all. It has a positive affect on everyone's mentality and their outlook on life."Setting your sails" into the wind is exciting and important......... for a brief while.
The world has changed in drastic ways since my days of bobbing up and down in the town pool, playing basketball and running around the baseball diamond. A person has so many options: careers, cars, churches, phones, friends, foods and entertainment. I am very thankful to have had the opportunity to experience life; to travel and see some of the world. I have been very blessed. I have often returned to my "odd little town". When I do, I meet the haunts of ghosts and memories of how things use to be. Greg broke-up with Judy then he married Becky. Janice moved to Georgia and then back home again. My friend Bobby found a soulful rest.
I have determined that you can ALWAYS return but it will NEVER be the same. It's not so much that IT has changed but more that YOU have changed. Time, distance and memories does that to a person. They have taught me that just because the wind blows, it doesn't mean that you have to "set your sails". Sometimes it's important to just sit and enjoy a good breeze now and then. After all, you never know what the wind might blow your way. For now I will enjoy my home, my yard and this little town. It's such an odd little town .
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